2023 is now in the rearview mirror. I’m looking forward to 2024 because for some reason, with no scientific basis, I believe the number 24 to be my lucky number. In 365 more days I’ll be able to tell you if that proves true or not.
If not, then I’ll have to pick a new number. Most likely something under 30, because at my age I don’t want to stretch my luck.
So as we head off into the future I quote from a Bob Seger song…”There I go, turn the page.”
And so I guess it is tradition after these 67 of my years on earth to again contemplate my New Year’s resolution. Notice I said resolution, not resolutions plural. I’ve finally decided that I feel bad enough after breaking the first one, there’s no need to keep piling onto my misery.
But this year I’m not going it alone. I decided to see what other folks were promising and try to differentiate one I could accommodate. So here’s the list I’ve compiled. Who knows, maybe you will find one that works for you.
I will drink one less cup of coffee... a year.
I will not waste my money on a gym membership.
I will eat more candy.
I will go to the gym every month, and watch other people exercise.
I will attend a health lecture and take a bag of chips to eat during the break.
I will step on the scale and give myself a high-five no matter what the numbers say.
I will eat chocolate every day for the health benefits.
I will run every day from my bed to the refrigerator before breakfast.
I will buy stupid things that make me happy.
I will start checking daring and dangerous things off my bucket list.
I will get a tattoo I will regret.
I will shave my head on one side.
I will dye my hair a crazy color.
I will go to a rock climbing facility and watch other people fall.
I will not go skydiving.
I will audition for a reality show that I have no interest in.
I'll make all of my friends set New Year's resolutions and hold them to it.
I resolve to be just a little bit nicer to people who do exactly what I want.
My New Year’s resolution is to stop hanging with people who ask me about my New Year’s resolution.
Buy new clothes big enough to account for next year’s holidays.
My New Year’s resolutions are to stop making lists, be more confident, and learn to count.
Keep smoking so I don’t gain weight.
My Ggal for 2024 is to accomplish the goals of 2023 which I should have done in 2022 because I promised them in 2021 and planned them in 2020.
Most common New Year’s resolution: Get in shape. I choose round shape.
I have only one New Year’s Resolution, which is to break my New Year’s Resolution.
Lose weight by hiding it somewhere you’ll never find it.
My new year’s resolution is 1080 pixels.
Check my work e-mail account at least once this year.
Learn to play a musical instrument – the bagpipes!
To be more decisive… perhaps.
Learn how to annoy more people in more ways in the New Year.
Add dd more color to my diet – at least one bag of Skittles or M&Ms a day should do the trick.
I resolve to stop sending e-mails to myself.
I resolve to work with neglected children — my own.
I resolve to chat with my spouse live instead of on Facebook.
I resolve to read either “War and Peace” or “Green Eggs and Ham”
The one about annoying other people is very appealing!
Ron Kern is the manager of the Ogle County Farm Bureau.
