Let's just get this out there – this has not been greatest summer on record.
The latest episode in my “summer of discontent” started out as a real high point. My wife and I finally bought a riding mower. It was just in time too, because I was starting to hate mowing my yard with a push mower. It took me hours to do, and I would get, ahem, a little grumpy about the whole thing.
My wife finally said let's just get a riding mower – it might have been to avoid more of my whining – and so we did. It was delivered on a Monday afternoon and I set about mowing the yard. It took me half the amount of time and I didn't even break a sweat.
I fell to my knees and thanked the mower gods.
The following weekend I went out to the garage to get the mower out for Round 2, and one of the tires was flat. After less than a week.
I was obviously not pleased, and after struggling way longer than I should have to get the tire off, I took it back to the place we bought it. The young guy in the service department asked me how long the mower had been stored because the tire had dry rot. I told him six days – the six days since I bought it new from that same business.
Needless to say I got a new tire. But this was just another irritation in a summer that has seen too many for my liking. Here is a short list:
Gravel – I see that Ogle County doesn't really fix it's country roads, it simply dumps a bunch of gravel on them. Does this really work? I don't know. What I do know is that riding a motorcycle on a road freshly covered with gravel is not safe at all. It is like riding on ice. And that gravel flies up and hits everything. Can we cool it on the gravel?
Tennis elbow – I have the worst tennis elbow in my right elbow of all time. Seriously, no one has ever had it worse. I am in pain pretty much every day, even though I gulp down ibuprofen like a drunk guzzling down shots at the corner bar. Two important points: I haven't played tennis in years, and I am left handed. I am not sure what the deal is, but I suspect it won't simply go away on its own.
Rain – Oh yes, rain. I loved rain when I was a kid. It was a rare treat in the desert. In my hometown, the average rainfall is about 3 inches. Here it is more than 30 inches (if Google is to be believed). I think so far this summer we have gotten 497 inches of rain … or at least it feels like we have. I have never seen as much rain as I have seen this summer. I feel like we live in Seattle. Not only has the rain caused some minor flooding in my basement, but it has severely cut down on my motorcycle riding. And I really feel for the poor farmers in Ogle County. Some of their fields look like lakes, and have for weeks and weeks.
Bad hair – Most annoying of all is that I am having a really bad hair summer. Seriously. My hair used to be awesome, but now it is thinning and flat and about as lifeless as the Democratic Party. It is very depressing.
As you can see, I have some pretty heavy issues going on at the moment. But with a little sunshine, a new volumizing shampoo and some better pain relievers, I might just make it until September.
